Mixed European, White Guys & Girls from the Suburbs, Pride Parade !!!
Sunday, July 14th will mark the first annual “Mixed European, White Guys & Girls from the Suburbs, Pride Parade.” A celebration of the shared cultural heritage of millions of individuals whose relatives immigrated to the United States, so that their kids could one day attend Tufts or Hofstra University, and study Media Arts.
The parade was created to fill a void left by other more inclusive and culturally distinct parades.
Festivities will take place along 5th Avenue, running from 42nd st up to 86th st. Between the hours of 2pm and 6pm. The parade will end before Mad Men comes on, so organizers say there is no need to worry. There is no alcohol allowed along the parade route, unless you successfully conceal it within a Gatorade bottle.
The Grand Marshall for the inaugural parade will be actor, Zach Galifianakis, who will perform several comedic songs, backed up by the alt-indie band, Vampire Weekend. Zach will ride on the “Grand Float,” which is shaped like the stadium from Iron Chef America. In honor of those who are now able to afford a decent cable T.V. package.
The parade also remembers those wayward souls who traveled to America aboard steam ships from Scotland, England, France, Spain, Germany, Italy, Greece, Finland or any of a dozen other European nations. Since attendees are the “mutts” of Europe, it is not necessary to feel a connection to any one country. However, you are required to have mentioned them in the diversity section of a college, job or fellowship application.
The parade was started by the “Mixed European, White Guys & Girls from the Suburbs, Community Council.” A group dedicated to preserving and celebrating the culture of kids who don’t speak any language besides English, and who have no ethnic recipes to pass down. The council also throws pool parties in the summer, featuring singer-songwriters who have at least one parent working as a patent lawyer.
Other floats will include those sponsored by Old Spice Commercials, Team CoCo, Xbox 360, Starbucks, America’s Local Malls, and Panera Bread.
The #hashtag for the event is #mixedUPEuroPride
