Conversations Between A Drunk Guy and A Piece of Pizza
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Guy: There’s nothing I want more than to be with you – right now.
Pizza: Nothing in the world?
Guy: Maybe to be with two of you at once, or to fold you into a calzone and eat you with a fork.
Pizza: That sounds hot.
Guy: Literally, yes. It will be.
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Pizza: It’s hard for me to look at you when you drink so much, my dad was an alcoholic.
Guy: Baby, please. I’m not like him. I just like to have a good time. You know I love you, right?
Pizza: Yeah, I know….
Guy: Now come here, I want to heat you up in the microwave, you got cold on the walk home.
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Guy: What is this stuff all over you? What the hell is all over your body?
Pizza: It’s bacon. I’m covered in bacon.
Guy: Oh my god. That’s awesome.
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Guy: Can I dip you in this sauce?
Pizza: Just be gentle.
Guy: I will. Don’t you worry. How’s that?
Pizza: Oh, it’s cold.
Guy: Of course it is, it’s cool ranch.
(I apologize for posting these… they are terrible.)
