Helpful Cooking Tips: Tomato Soup
(The following was originally published in Delicious Food Magazine)
Five ingredients that are NOT a part of Tomato Soup:
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Gasoline – Gasoline is easy to find and though it can be expensive, it is instrumental in making your car run. However, it is not a proper way to add flavor to your Tomato Soup. Gasoline is both foul tasting and poisonous. It will kill you if consumed. Don’t let those long tongued gasoline salesman tell you otherwise. No good “American” Tomato Soup recipe calls for Gasoline.
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Kisses – You should not try and kiss the boiling liquid during the cooking process. I know a lot of college courses and instructional PowerPoint presentations will tell you to put “love” into your cooking, but they do not mean it in the traditional physical sense. I believe they mean it in a metaphorical sense. You will get badly burned if you attempt either “American” or “French” style kissing of the soup.
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Snakes – Some sea snakes can survive in water up to 180 degrees Fahrenheit. So, technically, you could add them to the soup as it simmers. Do not do this. Tomato Soups main ingredients are tomatoes, onions, water, salt, pepper and cream. Snakes are deadly reptiles and would not successfully replace any of these ingredients. Also, they may kill you.
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Tickets to a Jay-Z Concert – Tomato Soup is a great family meal because it is cheap, healthy and delicious. Tickets to a Jay-Z concert are expensive and are not appropriate for the entire family. Do not mix them into your soup. I love Jay-Z as much as the next man, but he has no place in Tomato Soup. And it’s not a race thing, this is about flavor. Plus, you will not be able to redeem the tickets at the concert after using them in your soup.
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Dreams – Dreams have no place in soup. Dreams are built in our minds, and then acted upon at the proper moment in order to reach a state of self-satisfaction. Do not put your hopes and dreams into Tomato Soup because you can’t absolutely protect that the soup from burning or spilling, and thus taking your dreams with it. Keep your dreams in your head, or if need be, in your heart. (Unless your dream happens to be to make Tomato Soup, then by all means, dash a little bit of dreams into the soup before serving.)
Hope these helped!
