Help is on the Way!
“Help is on the way. Don’t worry, no, don’t worry about it.. I’ll get you out of the closet you locked yourself in. Okay… I’ll call you when I’m off the subway. Bye.”
And I’m off. Just need to throw pants on. And a shirt. And socks. No! Screw socks! I can wear shoes without socks to save my best friend. Well, not if I don’t want these shoes to stink. Which they most certainly will if I don’t wear socks. It’s 80 degrees out today. Fine socks.
There we go. Now I am out the door. Wait, no. Not quite yet. I need to eat something, if I don’t eat something I’m going to get a headache and god knows how long it will take to get Steve out of that closet. He probably doesn’t have anything I like at his place. And he certainly won’t want me eating while he’s freaking out.
Fine, a quick sandwich. Just meat and cheese. Maybe some veggies if I have any. Got all that out and … I’m out of bread. Great. I’m not going to eat meat and cheese on a plate like some mental patient. Okay, I’ll fry up some eggs. Quick and easy.
Alright. That was good. I shouldn’t wash this now. I need to go. Grab my keys, got my wallet and phone and here I come Steve! No, no. I have to wash these. I can’t get on my roommate’s case about dishes and then not do mine. Wash, wash, wash. And there we are.
Time to go. I’ll probably need to take a cab at this point. Hold on just one second, need to just check my email, I’m supposed to be hearing about that job at Starbucks. They said I’d know by the end of the day Monday, which it now is. Logging in, and … I didn’t get it. Wow, f*ck you Starbucks. I went to college and I can’t get this job. Are you serious? Did I threaten the “I have an associates degree from phoenix online” type manager with my actual knowledge. Oh my god. Well I’m never going there again. Hope you’re happy.
“Hello? Hey man, oh yeah yeah. I’m on my way out the door. No. I just got sidetracked. Oh and get this, I didn’t get the Starbucks job? Bullshit right? Okay, Okay, don’t yell. I’m leaving RIGHT NOW. See you soon.”
I have to write back to them. No, I need to go. Go out the door you idiot! For god’s sake your friend is in trouble. This is what sets you apart from that cold corporate enterprise. You actually care.
Dear Starbucks, Screw you and everything you stand for. Corporate capitalist culture will fall apart once the people of this world realize that personal relationships and the community sensibilities will be the foundation of our collective future.
Sincerely,
A better person.
Wait, what did I get all dressed up for again? Oh yeah… I need bread.
